STATES OF AFFINITY
The attraction, union or closeness between individuals is ruled by circumstance but also by affinity (or identification) and antagonism. Affinity — either for a similar concept of life, for a shared ideology or for interests in common. Antagonism — such as that observed between the man and woman who achieve perfect unity by complementing one another. ( Individuals of the same sex can also be united by antagonism. An example is the relationship between a purely academic individual and a practical one. Or between a man who, though wealthy, lacks ideas and one who lacks resources but not ideas.)
This introduction leads me to the subject of habits, since antagonism and affinity have a lot to do with them. It is easy to see that a drinker can meet another and be friends with him by affinity, but in the end one cannot tell whether the friendship is due to friendship per se or to alcohol. Alcohol, money and food make many friends — but they are friends of circumstance as when these three factors disappear, so do the friends.
Youth is the stage which determines the formation of habits, particularly alcoholic ones. One unfortunate trait or habit is like a pig — it does not make much trouble when young but once fully grown creates havoc everywhere. During adolescence it is common to allow oneself to be influenced by others (peer pressure), to question, to break with convention — and it is almost impossible to realize that one can be unconventional and original without doing harm to oneself. It is a period of great confusion when one does not understand oneself but needs to be accepted by others. This results in imitation — and not of what is best.
To imitate other people’s habits believing them to be one’s own is to live a dangerous lie. Becoming accustomed to what is inadequate is to fall into a spider’s web from which it is difficult to extricate oneself — it is hard to recognize what is going on. Changes occur constantly and with them new ways of ‘focusing’ life. While some individuals change easily, there are some who never do — instead of living through this stage and passing on to the next, they remain stuck in the same one all their lives.
The question most frequently asked of the alcoholic by the curious is, “Why do you drink?”
I believe that when you ask this question you expect a confession from a man ruined by adverse circumstances. What you receive, however, is a very pleasant and entertaining answer on how amusing one becomes after a few drinks. Let’s examine a classic answer of this kind, given me two years ago by Mr. C:
“Look, I’ve been drinking for years now. I’m a social alcoholic, that’s to say I enjoy the alcoholic habit in company, although I have always been very careful. Why do I drink? That’s easy. Firstly for pleasure, next for pleasure and because it’s a habit, and then for pleasure and because it’s a habit and because you realize that you become married to alcohol. It’s an acceptable love — not very much respected, but, with drink as your companion you can walk down the street with your head held high. Sure, you’ll find someone who will invent reasons for drinking, like a friend who says he does it because his mother didn’t nurse him (as if mother’s milk had alcohol in it!). Someone else says it’s because he’s too shy, another because he’s too forward and alcohol puts a bridle on him (especially when he drinks “Caballito Frenao” ¹). Others drink because they’re in love and don’t know how to appease their passion, still others because it’s what the doctor ordered. As far as I’m concerned, that’s a load of baloney.
“You drink for pleasure, for pure enjoyment, because you feel happy and content and alive inside. Anyway, everything has to do with alcohol: business, politics, art, sport (because they always go on a binge after a championship). Even witchcraft is connected with alcohol — you go to a spiritualist session or to Maria Lionza’s mountain² and just see how they put away those big bottles of rum! Look, alcohol’s mixed up in everything. Why do you think this country is as it is? Because all political meetings and all important decisions are settled with drinks, of course.
“From birth to death alcohol goes with everything: when a baby is born — you have to celebrate his first tinkle. When your neighbor dies — as soon as you get through with your sobbing, let the party begin! Birthdays, baptisms, weddings (you have to be crazy or drunk to get married), silver weddings, golden weddings, copper weddings, Mother’s Day, Student’s Day, Father’s Day, Youth Day, Worker’s Day, the 500th anniversary of the town where you were born, Doctor’s Day, Nurse’s Day, Lawyer’s Day, Public Accountant’s Day, Social Worker’s Day, the following day, whatever day you want, the day you name and the day you don’t, the 365 days of the year and the month and a bit before (and after) elections. What are election campaigns all about anyway? Handing out liquor to the public to send their brains to sleep. Why is there so much corruption? Because the politicians steep the public in alcohol so they can do whatever they want with them. Forget it, there’s no remedy! Society has been alcoholized. Here’s to your health!”
¹ Literally “The Bridled Horse”, a popular brand of strong, dark rum
² Well-known spiritualist rendezvous in Maracay, Venezuela
