River of Tears or Tears of Joy
Natasha was a little girl. She was simple, maybe too simple. She was complex, maybe too complex.
At the age of three, she and her family were in a serious motor-vehicle accident. It was raining. The road was slippery. Her mother put Natasha’s little body on her lap. The other car hit the right side of the vehicle where her mother was seated.
After this accident, everything that was simple in Natasha’s life became complex. Yes, undoubtedly her mother saved her life. She felt immense gratitude for her mother’s altruistic decision to save her life and take the brunt of this tragic accident — which destroyed her right hip. Her mother suffered in bed for 6 years.
From the age of three, Natasha kept on thinking how was she going to grow up without being hugged and cuddled by her mother? How could her mother hug her and cuddle her? She was in bed tolerating excruciating pain in her hip. This left Natasha with an immense loneliness.
But, Natasha discovered the power of music and the power of reading. “Life without music would be a mistake.” [1] Life has many hours and these hours have to have significant activities that make life worth living. Music and books saved Natasha’s life.
Where words fail, music speaks. “After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” [2]
Music is the universal language of mankind. “Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.” [3]
“Music is a higher revelation than philosophy.” [4]
“Music should strike fire from the heart of man, and bring tears from the eyes of woman.” [4]
“Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life.” [5]
“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl back to loneliness.” [6]
And this is what music did for Natasha. Natasha’s painful childhood haunted her. When thinking about her mother’s six years in bed and the sense of loss and abandonment she felt, there were several songs that expressed her feelings. One of these songs was ‘The Long and Winding Road.’ [7] It says:
The long and winding road that leads me to your door
Will never disappear, I’ve seen that road before
It always leads me here, leads me to your door
The wild and windy night that the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears, crying for the day
Why leave me standing here?
Let me know the way
Many times I’ve been alone, and many times I’ve cried
Anyway, you’ll never know the many ways I’ve tried
And still they lead me back to the long and winding road
You left me standing here a long, long time ago
Don’t leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door.
And by life’s coincidences, if coincidences exist, Natasha became an excellent singer.
Every morning, Natasha thought of Beethoven’s ‘Ode to Joy.’ She thought, if Beethoven was able to compose ‘Ode to Joy’ while deaf, so could she honour the painful memories of her childhood — and transform a river of tears into tears of joy.
-
[1] Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900) was a German philosopher and cultural critic who became one of the most influential of all modern thinkers.
[2] Aldous Huxley (1894–1963) was an English writer and philosopher; best known for his 1932 novel ‘Brave New World.’
[3] Victor Hugo (1802–1885) was a French Romantic writer and politician; best known for his (1862) novel “‘Les Miserables.’
[4] Ludwig van Beethoven (1770–1827) was a German composer and pianist who is considered one of the greatest composers of the Western European music tradition; best known for his ‘Ode to Joy’; it stands for European values like freedom, peace and solidarity.
[5] Plato (c. 428–347 B.C.) was an ancient Greek philosopher and teacher of Aristotle who is considered a foundational thinker in Western philosophy.
[6] Maya Angelou (1928–2014) was an American memoirist, poet and civil rightd activist; best known for ‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.’
[7] ‘The Long and Winding Road’ was released in June 1970, written by Paul McCartney (The Beatles).
